Jasper is gone

My worst fears about Jasper’s prognosis were realized this morning. When I woke up, Jasper was crying from downstairs and didn’t come up like he always does and I knew something was wrong and rushed downstairs to find Jasper on the floor, the back half of his body completely paralyzed. Ever since the last episode, I knew this day was a possibility. But you’re just never ready. I rushed him to the vet and long talks with the doctor about his continued prognosis, his worsening heart disease, left me with the difficult decision to make. In the end, I decided that Jasper was too good of a friend, too much of a love, to allow him to die slowly in bits and pieces as these clots from his heart broke off and stole his life bit by bit. I held him at the end and he was purring loudly and nestled his head in my arm as the doctor gave him the shot.

I feel like I’ve lost my best friend in the whole world, the one who listened to every complaint, endured with patience every bad mood, and always was there to love me and anyone who came into our home. I am bereft. This house is going to be so lonely without him. Who will cuddle quietly next to me now when I lay down to rest?